Saturday, August 11, 2007

"Healing Moments" from Marshall Ramsey

I hope he doesn't mind if I print the post in its entirety:
The mediator welcomes two angry men into a room. Both men look as uncomfortable as little boys in church, with frowns and distrustful looks on their faces. The mediator, a familiar face, waves both of them over to a big comfy couch. "Welcome to GOP mediation class, I'm Haley and I am your counselor. Please sit down, make yourselves comfortable and tell me your names."

"My name is Charlie Ross. I am sitting across from a Mike Moore-loving dork."

The mediator interrupts," Senator Ross, now that wasn't very kind. We must use more loving language." The mediator looks over at the other man and says, "Now, sir, it's your turn."

"My name is Phil Bryant. Why did you help that mudslinging jerk behind the scenes? Doesn't that make you a suspect mediator?!? And while I was out there publicly kissing your behind no less!!!"

"Now, there is no proof that I helped Sen. Ross, Mr. Bryant. You're just sore that he chewed on you like a hormonal pit bull."

Charlie Ross interjects, "Why don't you go crying to your friends at the Partnership? Dork! I should be his wingman, not you. Liberal lover."

The mediator interrupts once again, "Sen Ross. Wait your turn. Now, I want us to all stand in a circle and hold hands."

"@#$@ you."

"Gentlemen, there is no room for such hostility. We have to bond. To come together. We now have a common enemy."

The three men hold hands and start humming. "Hmmm Jamie Franks is evil. Hmmmm Jamie Franks is evil."

"Now," the mediator gushed, "Don't you feel better?"

Both men hug.

"I'm sorry Charlie."

"I'm sorry Phil."

They join their mediator and head out to a unity press conference.

Marshall Ramsey's Blog

2 comments:

  1. Glad to see you back. I'm heading back to USM this week, but I'll keep the blog going strong. I'm also going to be getting some help starting soon. How's that for a teaser? :)

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