The Sunday Funny

Jackson Girl Alleges Strange Claims
Local Girl says she is "double first cousins" with a variety of famous figures
An anonymous Jackson woman is now claiming that she is related, in fact "double first cousins" with many prominent political figures. Such people she is naming include the popular conservative radio host Sean Hannity and Republican Lt. Gubernatorial candidate Charlie Ross. "For the longest time, I knew I connected with both of the men I mentioned," she says, "but then when I watched Sen. Ross' speech, it was a sign. We were 'double first cousins', I just knew it." Asked about the aforementioned Sean Hannity, the woman says "I have loved his show for a long time, and, like, besides being a Republican, I like it cause we're both related." Representatives from both Mr. Hannity and Sen. Ross vehemently deny these strange allegations. Sen. Ross' representative went so far as to say this woman is quite possibly insane. Representatives from the State Democratic Party, however tell us that insanity is a common trait among Republicans, "especially in the case of this girl."

- Bronwyn Lane (Guest Contributor)

"Double First Cousins" Video

"Double First Cousins" Text

This is satire. (just in case you hadn't figured it out)